Sugarhigh

A friend (you know who you are) fed me lots of sugar this evening (okay, yes, the hot chocolate was my choice- but the sundae wasn't), and so my synapses are firing away. Here's a random sampling of what's going on up there.

First, my hands ::still:: smell like terrible, cheap rubber from the mountains of promotional mouse pads that got delivered to my work today. Soap and lotion and perfume are no match for this smell. Rawr. This. Really. Angers. Me.

But despite that, I had a really awesome evening. One that I was unsure about, going into. But it turned out to be totally great. I laughed a lot and managed not to recite every line of Empire Records, and in doing so, was pleased to discover fun little details that I never noticed before. Well, let's face it, I probably noticed but have since forgotten. Which is kind of the same thing. Notably, the movie heavily plugs Gin Blossoms, which is lovely. Though I feel kind of conflicted about it because I was really thinking hard about going to see them live tonight. It's kind of ironic, when you think about it.

Speaking of feeling conflicted, I have a lot to think about. Hell, I feel conflicted about the fact that I feel conflicted. This can not be good. Do I stand strong or do I surrender? The obvious choice seems to be "stand strong" but at what point does that become "stay stubborn?" Connotation is everything.

I have recently realized that I am not even as cool as I thought I was until recently, which was not all that cool to begin with. This is a little sad, but also very freeing. I don't have to pretend to live up to anything anymore. I can embrace my dorkiness and run with it. Which I intend to do. There are so many things more important than others' perception of me, and I intend to focus more on those things than worrying about how they will look to all those people who don't know me. Intend is the key word here.

Tomorrow, I have three four five goals: 1) take a shower that stays hot all the way through (this takes some planning. Maybe 1A should be to adjust the water heater. This will also take some planning as I have no idea how to do this). 2) Finish the book I borrowed from a friend months ago. I meant to do this last weekend, but it wasn't officially a goal, so now I'm making it one. 3) Go on a photo stroll of Bellevue for an assignment. 4) Write. Lots. 5) Sort through some of the stuff that is floating around in my head. Four and five will surely go hand in hand.

I have not yet heard back from the apartment community to which I turned in an application. This community is run by the company I used to work for, so I know how things should go, and frankly, this is not how they should go. I know I'm not a high-priority applicant, but if you're going to call every other day "just to check in" after I visit, I expect you to also call me back to say "your application was approved, just so's ya know." I'm wondering if it's a sign that I should apply at the other place I'm considering, but sense is still telling me to be patient.

Patience is something I struggle with. In general. This makes me consider things that are best not shared in a public blog, so I won't. Share them, that is. If you really want to know, you can ask me. I might be inclined to share further.

Seeing as my feet are very cold, I've definitively decided it's time to get to bed. I got a new pillow today. It's probably the most exciting thing that's happened to me all week.

Don't judge me, cool kids.